Cars, Clouds, Thoughts and Feelings: This Too Shall Pass

Cars pass, clouds drift, the ESPN ticker keeps scrolling. Transient, temporary, fleeting—we expect movement. Cars come and go, clouds roll on, the ticker never stops. So why do we treat our thoughts, feelings, and experiences any differently? Why, when sadness creeps in, frustration rises, or negativity settles, do we assume it’s permanent? Instead of clinging to emotional constancy, we’d do better to remember the ancient wisdom: This too shall pass.

Mindfulness practice teaches us to embrace impermanence. By visualizing our thoughts and feelings as cars on a highway, clouds drifting in the sky, or scores scrolling on the ESPN ticker, we can detach from them and stop letting them control us. Recognizing the transience of emotions and thoughts not only fosters greater presence but also nurtures curiosity and reduces suffering.

In sport and performance, one negative thought or challenging emotion can signal the beginning of the end, the proverbial “here we go” moment—The beginning of the downward spiral. If, instead, performers embraced a more mindful approach and recognized thoughts and feelings as fleeting, they could more quickly regain composure, focus on the present moment, and control the controllable while they let the unhelpful pass by. 

When Surrendering is Not Waving the White Flag

How often do we expend our valuable cognitive and physical energy on things we have no control over, leading to frustration and a sense of powerlessness? We devote so much time and focus to things we cannot actually influence. Mel Robbins teaches, in her book Let it Go, we must loosen our grip on the uncontrollable. We must surrender. But, what if the word surrender has nothing to do with admitting defeat, throwing in the towel, or waving the white flag? What if, instead, it is one of our greatest performance assets?” At its core, surrendering is about acceptance, trust, commitment, and letting go of things that are outside of one’s control. Surrendering is how you gain control.

In a Dare to Lead podcast episode, Dr. Sarah Lewis suggested that one must surrender what she has termed “counterfeit control,” to fully excel. In performance settings, we often focus on elements far outside of our control and these become distractions, fool's errands. One exercise I have used for many years is to give individuals a sheet of paper with two boxes, one labeled controllables and the other labeled uncontrollables and ask them to place what they focus on in the applicable box. It is only then that the individual can direct their attention and energy to aspects of the experience they have direct control over. They then can be decisive, commit fully, accept all outcomes, and surrender to the knowledge that not all circumstances demand control. Just as is true with a finger trap, letting go is the best way out.

In your personal life, work, or athletic career, what have you surrendered to? 

How was your experience changed by this acceptance?

Anchors Away!

Imagine you are stuck in rough waters. Rudderless, your boat is whipped around by the chaos of the sea. Certain death approaches. At the last moment you realized you are equipped with a 30 pound anchor. You drop the weight and it plows into the ocean shore and, while you may still drift slightly, you are grounded, safe, and steady.

In sport and performance, you can possess your own psychological anchors to weather the storm of pressure, self-doubt, and fierce competition. These cues can be cognitive, physical or both. They could be the fastening or unfastening of a glove, a tap of the bat, removing your hat OR they could be a one word mantra, a deep breathe, or a quick visualization. Regardless of the specific anchor, these practices are stabilizing and calming in the face of stressful performance moments.

So, next time you are lost in the proverbial turbulent swells of competition, drop the anchor. It is likely the keep to remaining focused, steady, and present during the most emotionally charged moments.

When the Stuff Hits the Fan, Adaptability is the Plan

Years ago, Mike Tyson provided this poetic uppercut: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Similar to his brute strength, Mike’s words hit hard. His suggestion that the best plans can evaporate in the face of an unexpected “punch” is universally applicable. In opposition, it can be inferred that, in fact, the best plans anticipate setbacks, failures, and chaos. They are built on adaptability, resilience, and composure in the eye of the storm.

Competitors who expect, accept and embrace the potential for chaos tend to be the most successful. Those who need everything to be “perfect,” stumble. Jack Nicklaus knew he had every player who complained about the conditions of the course or the environment beat before they even tee’d off. If performers plan for and assume adversity will inevitably arise, they can then ground themselves in the present moment, return to their pre-programmed plan, and adjust it where necessary. 

The best performers know when to stick with the plan and when to alter it. Continuing to play zone defense when the other team is shooting well, throwing fastballs when they are getting crushed by batters, hitting drop shots when your opponent is too quick is not a winning formula.

If performers let go of their attachment to “how it was supposed to go,” they adapt, remain in the present moment, trust their training, and continue on with a greater chance of success.

Are you more Oak or Pine: The benefits of flexibility

Years ago, as I was kindly displaced from my office building, an old Victorian mansion in the heart of Denver, the owner of the building thoughtfully presented me with a beautiful wooden pen. He told me that this pen was not only made from wood in the mansion but came with a story. Apparently, the woodworker was originally sent beautiful red oak wood, but it broke every time he attempted to bend it around the interior ink cartridge. Discouraged yet eager to complete the task successfully, he asked for different wood. The owner of the building replied, “I have some cruddy, old pine from a mantel,” to which the pen maker said, “Yes! Please send that.” Striking pens made of pine were returned to him weeks later.

Most of us yearn to be like oak: sturdy, strong, rich in texture and depth and few want to be like pine: cheap, bendable, soft, and imperfect. However, the pen maker explained that these pens and the pine they were constructed from symbolize the value of flexibility and adaptability. The athletes, coaches, and executives I have worked with who are most successful also happen to be the most like pine. They acknowledge mistakes made, examine lessons learned from those experiences, flexibly adapt, and move forward. In sport and in business, the more open you are to adapting (especially when things are just not working), the more success you realize.

Most feel that Tiger Woods has been one of, if not the most, mentally tough professional athletes of our time. What may be overlooked is his adaptability. A total of four times during his prolific career, Tiger Woods completely changed his golf swing. He had the best swing in the game and still felt it could be improved upon. That is flexibility at its finest.

Are you more oak or pine-like? When you are more flexible, how is your performance impacted?

Is that a lion or a par three over water?: being able to tell the difference matters.

The brain grows from bottom to top, back to front, and inside out. The reason for this is evolutionarily: the brainstem and limbic system develop first in order to help each individual survive and the prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-order thinking, is last on board. The “downstairs,” reflexive and emotional portions of the brain are wired for protection because survival is ultimately the most important task for every human being. This developmental phenomenon helps us to understand why negative experiences encoded as dangerous in some way are stored more strongly, quickly, and deeply in the brain. 

Yet, as much as the human brain is evolutionarily superior to that of less developed species, it still struggles to accurately detect and assess threats. Thus, while staring down a par three over water, teeing off in front of a group of friends, or putting to win a match, we often interpret the situation as if we are being chased by a lion. Even though physical danger is not a reality, the brain responds as if it is, sending a danger message out to the rest of the body by way of the sympathetic nervous system. Physiological responses that prepare the body for fight/flight/freeze such as a fast beating heart, muscle tension, shallow breathing, sweaty palms, and even nausea follow. Our thoughts are also clouded/constricted by this perceived threat.

When we become aware of our fear triggers on the course and at work, better understand why our body is responding in the way that it is, and commit to calming the body through deep breathing and mindfulness exercises, we regain control of the moment. 

When you are triggered on the course or at work, how do your mind and body react? 

What helps you calm the mind and body?

Golf’s Dirty Words: Should, Must, Need

"I should make these short putts."
"I must get up-and-down from here."
"I need to birdie the next hole."

We’ve all heard these phrases or even said them ourselves. At first glance, they seem innocent—maybe even motivational. But these phrases belong in the “dirty words jar” of golf, as they can be more harmful than helpful and often have a negative impact on performance.

In his book Golf Beneath the Surface, Dr. Raymond Prior explains how rigid language like should and must can trigger harmful responses in the brain and body. These words create unnecessary pressure and activate the brain’s threat-detection system, which sends us into a fight-or-flight state. When this happens, our nervous system responds with shallow breathing, an increased heart rate, and—worst of all—muscle tension. And when we’re trying to make smooth, fluid movements, tension is the last thing we need.

For example, imagine standing over a 4-foot putt and thinking, “I should make this one.” This kind of thinking is more likely to lead to a tight, jabby putting motion—and those “should-make” putts often end up missing. But if you instead tell yourself, “I want to make this putt” or “It’s okay if I miss this putt,” the body remains relaxed, and the mind stays calm. You’ll find that you sink more putts with a relaxed approach than you would with pressure-filled expectations.

Next time you’re on the green or chipping area, experiment with using should/need/must versus want/prefer/like to language in your practice reps. See how it impacts your performance—chances are, you’ll notice a difference in your fluidity and focus.

What words do you tend to use when the pressure is on? 

How does your internal dialogue shape the way you execute under pressure?

Dripping Water Hollows Stone ~Roman Poet Ovid

If water slowly and continuously drips on a rock, it will eventually erode, crack, or develop holes. This is not what Bruce Lee meant when he said, “Be Like Water,” but if we want to create real change, build new habits, or reach new heights, we could all stand to be more like water: persistent, patient, powerful, and consistent. 

You may be familiar with these pronouncements meant to encourage perseverance: “A marathon is run one step at a time”, “brick by brick”, “slow and steady wins the race,” or “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” And yet, we still seek immediate change and abandon solid processes before they can actualize. Why? It could be the fear of the unknown, constant marketing around overnight transformation/success, or our shrinking attention spans (Thanks, TikTok!). Regardless of the reason, the cost of our desire for instant gratification and noticeable gains is frequently the exact opposite.  Success is elusive because we end up burnt out, exhausted, and frustrated. When spurts of effort fail repeatedly, we are likely to give up over and over.

In his game-changing book on habit formation, Atomic Habits, James Clear emphasizes the importance of consistency over intensity when we attempt to change our behavior. He notes that enduring, sustainable growth is reliant on our persistence, not the initial intensity of our efforts. The infinitesimal alterations in behavior compound over time, and one day, we look up and find that true, lasting change has occurred. 

So, next time you are attempting to change an aspect of your golf swing, alter some aspect of team culture, or actually floss daily, try to be more like water, one drip at a time.

What are your drip-like behaviors? What small changes could you/would you like to commit to each day?

Self-Compassionate Golf: Three words never before uttered together

Picture this: Your playing partner misses a short putt, and without hesitation or forethought, you snap, “What’s wrong with you? You suck!” But you don’t stop there. As he steps onto the next tee, you continue the verbal assault—reminding him of his mistake, making sure he knows just how badly he messed up. Hole after hole, you keep at it, fueling his frustration and knocking his focus completely off track.

Sounds awful, right? No golfer would tolerate that kind of treatment from a partner.

But what if I told you that there was no playing partner? What if the person dishing out this relentless abusive reproach was the golfer himself?

We all have an inner dialogue, and far too often, it’s more critical and harsh than we would ever be toward another person. In fact, most of us talk to ourselves in ways we would never tolerate from a friend or teammate. This negative self-talk often stems from a fear of failure, negative social comparison, and a misguided belief that berating ourselves will lead to improvement. The truth is, as Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

Instead of attacking ourselves, what if we treated ourselves with compassion?

Dr. Kristin Neff, one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion, has shown that talking to yourself with kindness, care, and understanding is not only more pleasant—it can also enhance performance. She identifies three key components of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Let’s break them down with golf-specific examples:

1. Self-Kindness

• Example: “Missing that putt was frustrating, and it didn’t go as planned, but that’s okay. Let’s reflect on the potential for change, and improve.”
  Self-kindness involves being gentle with yourself when things go wrong. Instead of beating yourself up. The goal is to treat yourself with the same understanding you’d offer to a friend.

2. Common Humanity

• Example: “Although it feels frustrating right now, even professional golfers make bad shots. I’m not alone in this.”
  Remember, you're not the only one who struggles. Everyone misses putts, hits poor shots, or has disappointing rounds. Recognizing that imperfections are part of the human learning or growth experience helps you feel connected and supported rather than isolated or defeated.

3. Mindfulness

• Example: “I’m feeling frustrated and thinking negatively, but these feelings will pass if I don’t dwell on them. I have made good shots before.”
  Mindfulness involves observing your emotions without getting swept away by them. Acknowledge negative feelings as they arise, but don’t let them define your game or cloud your judgment.

So, the next time you’re out on the course, in a high-pressure business meeting, or facing a challenge in any aspect of life, consider a more self-compassionate approach. One simple strategy is to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a loved one—or the way they would talk to you.

Self-compassion doesn’t just make the journey more enjoyable; it’s a performance enhancer. By treating yourself with kindness, recognizing that mistakes are part of the process, and staying present with your emotions, you set yourself up for greater success—not just on the course, but in all areas of life.

Try monitoring your self-talk for an entire round or workday. What did you notice?

Waffle Iron Wisdom: Bowerman's Recipe for Innovation

"What if I told you that, on a cold and dreary morning in Oregon in 1971, an ordinary breakfast sparked an innovation that forever changed track and field—and modern footwear?” The diner was none other than Bill Bowerman, the famed Oregon track and field coach and co-owner of Nike. Bowerwan was a tireless trailblazer, a constant pursuer of better/faster. That fateful morning, he saw in his waffle iron what others hadn’t: a performance enhancement. Tired of heavy, spiked running shoes, he believed that the unique waffle pattern could provide increased grip/traction and give his team a competitive edge. There was only one problem: he rendered his waffle iron useless on his first try when the rubber he utilized glued it shut. 

Fortunately, Bowerman, the consummate tinkerer, was not deterred by this initial blunder. In fact, he recognized that the path to innovation is paved with failures. Just as Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." For Bowerman, the ruined waffle iron was not a deterrent, but rather a useful piece of information, a step towards success. His iterative experimentation process continued until he had exactly what he had envisioned: The Nike Waffle Trainer, a shoe that would change the footwear industry forever.

Whether you are an athlete, an entrepreneur, or someone simply looking to improve, Bowerman’s quest for a better running shoe highlights several key lessons in innovation:

1. Embrace Failure- Each failed attempt is an opportunity to learn and grow.
   

2. Adjust and Enhance- Creative pursuits rarely happen overnight. Instead, they involve continual adjustments, enhancements, and optimization.
   

3. Look for Inspiration in Unexpected Places – Creative insights often are sparked outside of your particular area of focus (Check out the connection between the Centre Pompidou and the Air Max 1 for reference).
   

4. Persistence is Key – In order to create something unique and impactful, failure resilience and determination are imperative.

So, the next time you decide to avoid a challenge because you are afraid of failing, please remember that failure is not something to be feared; it is something to be embraced. Just like the bottom of the Waffle Trainer, the path to success is never smooth.

WTF: A More Functional Appraoch

An oft-used phrase to express shock, frustration, and disbelief. Whether muttered under your breath or shouted into the abyss, it’s a go-to reaction in moments of confusion, disappointment, or surprise. I must admit, it’s a versatile phrase I’ve said more times than I care to admit (please don’t tell my kids). But what if the F-word wasn’t the four-letter expletive you’re thinking of? What if, instead, it was something more productive?

It might not be as cathartic, but try substituting “functionality” (or just “Func”). With less judgment and irritation, you’re now asking: What is the function of this thought, feeling, or experience?

This term, What the Func? was coined by Dr. Susan David in her emotional agility research and this shift is a core principle of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). In pressure-packed moments—when you’d normally default to a frustrated WTF—focusing on functionality creates space for curiosity, self-awareness and growth.

So, why does this shift matter? Because emotions illuminate what we truly care about. By focusing on function, you move from being stuck in a reaction to learning from it. So the next time you’re about to unleash a “What the F---?!” take a beat. Ask yourself: What the Func? You just might find a lesson hidden in the chaos.

Why the club thrower may have it (partially) right

Imagine you are immersed in one of those golf rounds you’d love to forget. You know the ones—where every shot feels like a struggle, putts refuse to drop, and frustration builds with every swing. You’re fuming inside, caught between self-criticism and sheer exasperation. Maybe you mutter a few choice words under your breath, give yourself a stern talking-to, or, in a moment of pure exasperation, send your club sailing into the nearest pond. While I am most certainly not endorsing the last option, I think it is critical to recognize the inevitability of painful emotion on the golf course and the ineffectiveness (and implausibility) of trying to ignore it, suppress it, or, “just calm down.”

Research is crystal clear about one thing when it comes to emotional suppression: It does not work and worse yet, it intensifies already painful feelings. Even more interesting, when we attempt to suppress emotions like anger or frustration, we don’t just mute the bad—we also dull our ability to experience joy and satisfaction. When we attempt to remain robotic, apathetic, or unflappable through suppression, it backfires and we actually end up with higher anxiety, poorer performance, and decreased enjoyment. 

But here’s the good news—emotions exist because we truly care about what we’re doing and that’s a good thing. So, next time you are on the course, hit a poor shot, and feel frustrated, here are a few suggestions to manage your emotion, rather than allowing it to manage  you:

• Practice Mindfulness – Acknowledge the emotion, accept it without judgment, and allow it to pass. Visualize it like cars on a highway, clouds drifting in the sky, or a leaf floating down a river.
  

• Name It to Tame It – Simply labeling your emotion (“I’m frustrated right now”) can help you process it and remind you that frustration is just a sign that you care and are fully present.
  

• Deep Breathing & Relaxation – Take a few deep breaths to reset your nervous system and regain focus.
  

• Stay Objective & Learn – Shift your mindset from emotional reaction to logical assessment. Instead of berating yourself, analyze the situation: “I left the club face open, which caused the slice.” Learn from it and move forward.

Anger isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it is how you respond to it that matters. If you use it constructively, it can actually sharpen your focus and improve resilience.   The club thrower is allowing himself to feel emotion, express it and (hopefully) move on. Maybe effective use of these alternative strategies can help you from having to fish your club out of the course pond. 

When you are feeling frustrated on the course or at work, how does it affect your performance?

The Emotional Dinner Party

Imagine, you are hosting a dinner party when it is abruptly interrupted by a loud knock at the door. Somewhat frustrated, you open the door only to find an unwanted guest. First, you firmly close the door in its face, but the knocking continues. Then you attempt to ignore the knocking but it is clearly disrupting not only your experience but the experience of the partygoers as well. Ultimately, you decide that the best option is to welcome this unruly guest in, grab him a plate of food, and sit down to learn more about why he is there. This individual may let you know that they saw smoke and came to let you know your house is on fire or they may have some other wildly irrational, negative thing to say about you and your party. Either way, this information is educational.

You may be wondering why I am yammering on about some made-up dinner party, but what if I told you that this is not about a dinner party at all? Rather, it is a metaphor often used by the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) community to illustrate our relationship with our thoughts and feelings. If we were to welcome unwanted thoughts and feelings rather than resisting them, suppressing them, or ignoring them, we would likely find that this more curious, empathic, nonjudgmental approach allows us to see this information as educational rather than disruptive. 

This approach, developed by Susan David, is known as emotional agility and is wildly beneficial not just in our professional and athletic pursuits, but in our everyday lives. Emotions can be incredible teachers if we let them be. They can teach us about what we care about, what we regret, and how to mindfully move forward and design our best life. 

Is he picking his wedgie?: The value of a good pre-shot routine

If you’ve ever watched Rafa Nadal play tennis then you have seen Rafa Nadal pick his wedgie. It happens before he serves: Every, Single, Time. For a man who certainly has enough money to buy better fitting underwear, you may be thinking why doesn’t he fix the problem? Well, that is because it is not the problem at all. It’s the solution. It is his pre-shot routine. 

When consulting with athletes, one of the first things we work on is the creation of a consistent and reliable pre-shot routine. If you watch golfers hit each shot, pitchers throw each pitch, and basketball players shoot each free throw, they all utilize their own, individualized pre-shot routine. It is this routine, also common for performers in many venues, which I believe is the foundation of consistency.  It acts as an anchor/comfort during high-pressure moments, blocks out distractions, and ensures that the athlete’s mind and body are ready for the shot. The final step in any pre-shot/pre-performance routine is acceptance and commitment. One must accept any and all outcomes that might occur and commit fully to the shot at hand. 

Do you have a reliable, repeatable, and consistent pre-shot routine?

How do you fare when you engage in your routine vs. when you don’t?

Waking Up During Surgery: A Lesson in the Importance of Breath and Heart Rate

Years ago, I woke up in the middle of surgery. Intubated, extremities strapped down, and under-anesthetized, I opened my eyes and understood the true meaning of helplessness. Then, thankfully I had the wherewithal to recognize that my heart rate was my only mode of communication. At that moment I thought, if I can spike my heart rate (not too difficult when you are completely terrified and largely incapacitated) then I can let the doctors and nurses know I am awake when I certainly shouldn’t be. As I held my breath, I felt my heart rate skyrocket, heard the nurse say that my IV tube was kinked and then everything went black. It was only later, in the recovery room that I realized the impact of controlling my heart rate.

In competitive environments, awareness of and control over your heart rate plays a key role in managing high-stakes situations. During these pressure-packed moments, when the brain perceives threat, a danger message is sent to the rest of your body and the excitatory nervous system activates. Your heart and breath rate quicken in order to deliver more blood and oxygen to muscles needed in moments of survival. 

Fortunately, we can consciously slow our breath rate (the opposite of what I did in the operating room), signaling to the brain and body that we are not in danger. With training, you can learn to slow your breathing down in stressful situations, signaling safety and helping you remain calm under pressure. Devices like a Whoop band have been revolutionary in building an awareness of this brain-body connection. Ultimately, we have control of our breath, which means we have control of our heart, and if we have control of our heart, we have control of our experience, mentally and physically.

Do you notice your heart and breath rate in stressful moments? 

How do your heart and breath rate affect your performance?

The Jumbo Way: How making mistakes of action created a dynasty

When I played lacrosse for the Tufts University Jumbos (yes, the Elephants), we were good. Good enough to be ranked #2 in the nation at one time, but not exceptional. We did not win our conference and only appeared in the NCAA tournament once. We played a brand of lacrosse that was controlled, safe, and low-scoring, often winning games 6-5 or 9-7. 

A few years after I graduated, that all changed when my coach made the courageous decision to abandon his approach to play and adopt a much more aggressive, fast, and fun brand of ball. In the next five years, the Jumbos routinely led the country in goals, wins, and even championships (winning seven consecutive conference titles and three national championships in five seasons). They also led the country in turnovers, but who cares? What was the key? What was this winning recipe? Make mistakes of action, not inaction!

Interestingly, research has shown that regrets of inaction are far more common than regrets of action. We regret failures lacking boldness, failures in showing up, and failures of avoidance. When working with athletes and teams, I try to normalize a fear of failure, of making mistakes, of being judged and encourage them to, instead, approach the game more vulnerably. Playing vulnerably is embracing, accepting, and surrendering to the fact that mistakes will happen. With acceptance comes the realization that one must move forward bravely anyway. Bravery, after all, is not moving forward without fear, it is moving forward while afraid. 

If you were to embrace uncertainty, create comfort with making mistakes, and act more courageously in your performance pursuits, what would be different? 

What would (or wouldn’t) you regret? 

Wilt Chamberlain’s Catastrophic Case of FOPO (Fear of Other People's Opinions)

Most don’t know that, during the 1961-62 season, the year in which he scored 100 points in one game, basketball great Wilt Chamberlain shot all of his free throws underhand. Even fewer know that he precipitously stopped shooting underhand for one reason and one reason only: what others thought of him. Famed sports psychologist Michael Gervais termed this phenomenon FOPO: Fear of Other People’s Opinions. A notoriously bad free-throw shooter has his best-ever season from the strike, acquires a case of FOPO, and abandons a system that works (he promptly returned to his staggeringly low free-throw shooting percentage the next season). For a man who taught an endless number of helpful basketball lessons, this may have been his most valuable: Focusing on the wrong things can have a catastrophic impact.

It is completely normal and even evolutionarily beneficial to care about what others think (By looking over to gauge the speed of my fellow antelopes, I can decide to run faster and not get eaten by the predator on the prowl). BUT, we are not antelopes and are most often not in danger of being eaten, at least I hope so. So, whose opinion should we care about? I often have the athletes and executives I work with draw a small table with a limited number of seats to help them identify whose opinions truly matter to illustrate the relatively small number of people who’s opinion really matter. Additionally, in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***, Mark Manson highlights the notion that we have a limited number of F’s to give and thus must choose them wisely. Examples of better F’s: embracing uncertainty, investing in deep relationships, and taking ownership of your choices rather than focusing on what happens to you. 

How have you allowed what others think to negatively impact your life?

Whose opinions actually matter to you?

Which F’s do you choose to give moving forward?

We (are) Talking About Practice

In a 2002 interview, in what is now known as the “We talking about practice!” interview, Allen Iverson disparagingly mentioned the word practice a total of 22 times. “Not a game, practice!” he said. Most athletes despise practice and can’t wait until game time. The greats fall in love with practice, not just the game. It is, however, not just any old haphazard practice that counts; Instead, it is the purposeful, deliberate practice that matters.

Walk by any driving range in town and you will find the vast majority of golfers engaging in what is called, “Turn and Rake” practice. Mindless, rhythmic practice that lacks purpose not only does not lead to improvement but reinforces bad habits. Turn and Rake range time does not simulate a true competitive environment and leads to more frustration and confusion. This approach to practice lacks focus, purpose, and intention. To break these habits, one must identify specific technical skills to improve, enlist a quality-over-quantity approach, and enjoy the process of attempting to improve.

First, start by truly warming up (hitting balls without care or concern about any outcome other than getting your body warm/loose). Then, set a ten-minute timer and work on a specific skill with focus and intention, attempting to create muscle memory. Too often, golfers are thinking about the technical aspects of their swing while in competitive environments. Instead, make sure to leave the analytical thinking about your swing on the range. Finally, create a game/competition with yourself or others, be precise with your targets (instead of hitting aimlessly). You can repeat the technical/competitive portions for as many rounds as you’d prefer. When your practice becomes more purposeful, you will see commensurate improvements.

Are you practicing with purpose?

If not, what parts of your game do you want to work on with deliberate intention?

Know your Value(s)

If you had the opportunity to guess the top four values Steve Kerr (Nine-time NBA champion; five as a player and four as a coach) creates a culture around, you may guess toughness, persistence, hard work, confidence, or even discipline. Unfortunately, you would be completely wrong. Without further ado, here are the four core values Steve Kerr bases everything he does on: JOY, MINDFULNESS, COMPETITION, and COMPASSION. Yes, I said compassion.

Whether these would be your top four values or not is somewhat inconsequential, but the importance of identifying core values and organizing your behavior around them is something we can all agree upon. I will, however, admit that I love his four chosen values. If a team is not joyful, presumably they are not having fun doing what they do. If they are not mindful, they are liable to get caught in the past or overly focused on the future: both of which we do not have control over. If they do not compete with themselves or others, it makes succeeding and mastering their craft almost impossible. Finally, I believe that compassion, for self and others, is the antidote to shame, which can wreck individual and team experience perhaps more than any other emotion.

When building a team, whether athletic or professional, creating clarity around individual and team values is imperative. Doing so unifies the group, guides behavior, and constructs a clear vision for your group. After all, it’s no wonder that Steve Kerr has nine rings!

What are your core values and how do they guide your behavior?

The Difference is in the Details

As a teenager, I landed a job as a dental assistant to a well-respected dentist. I was able to get this sought-after assistantship because the dentist was my father. During the first dental procedure in which I assisted, he asked for a Scaler and I mindlessly handed it to him. He handed it right back to me. In that moment he taught me the importance of giving him the dental tool directly into his hand at exactly the angle he needed; he demonstrated that being haphazard or inattentive delays efficient treatment. This moment epitomized how the difference truly is in the details. 

Scottie Scheffler, the world’s #1 golfer warms up with a beginner’s grip aid on the range before every round. He has professed that, if the foundation of his swing, his grip, is not spot on, he cannot be a great ball-striker. Similarly, Steph Curry, the greatest shooter in NBA history, begins his pre-game shooting workout approximately one foot from the basket with one hand. He has learned that, if his fundamentals are not perfect, he cannot continue to be the best shooter in the game. These greats start each practice with basics and fundamentals. The difference is in the details.

           On the first day of each season’s basketball practice at UCLA, Coach John Wooden taught every player how to put on their socks and tie their shoes. I know this may sound ridiculous, but his thought was simple: If you do not put your socks and shoes on correctly, you could get blisters or, worse, get injured, which would have a negative impact on the team. Even the smallest detail matters and the difference is in the details.

If the greatest athletes in the world (and my dad - yes, I just put him on that level) are always working on these basic, fundamental, ground-level aspects of their craft to gain an edge, and perfect their performance, shouldn’t the rest of us too? When an individual creates muscle memory around these most fundamental skills, they then happen instinctively during pressure-packed moments. Increasing attention to the details yields great confidence. Not only in the best of athletes, but for all of us.

What are the most basic skills you can practice?

How is your performance impacted when you spend more time on them?