How often do we expend our valuable cognitive and physical energy on things we have no control over, leading to frustration and a sense of powerlessness? We devote so much time and focus to things we cannot actually influence. Mel Robbins teaches, in her book Let it Go, we must loosen our grip on the uncontrollable. We must surrender. But, what if the word surrender has nothing to do with admitting defeat, throwing in the towel, or waving the white flag? What if, instead, it is one of our greatest performance assets?” At its core, surrendering is about acceptance, trust, commitment, and letting go of things that are outside of one’s control. Surrendering is how you gain control.
In a Dare to Lead podcast episode, Dr. Sarah Lewis suggested that one must surrender what she has termed “counterfeit control,” to fully excel. In performance settings, we often focus on elements far outside of our control and these become distractions, fool's errands. One exercise I have used for many years is to give individuals a sheet of paper with two boxes, one labeled controllables and the other labeled uncontrollables and ask them to place what they focus on in the applicable box. It is only then that the individual can direct their attention and energy to aspects of the experience they have direct control over. They then can be decisive, commit fully, accept all outcomes, and surrender to the knowledge that not all circumstances demand control. Just as is true with a finger trap, letting go is the best way out.
In your personal life, work, or athletic career, what have you surrendered to?
How was your experience changed by this acceptance?