Hi, my name is Stephen and I make mistakes, lots of them. I am going to share a story about one of the biggest mistakes I ever made (which may, in and of itself, be a mistake, but here goes nothing) to prove the following point: We do not succeed despite our mistakes, we succeed because of them.
It is the spring of my senior year of college and I have decided to apply to doctoral programs in clinical psychology. It was a busy time. I was in the middle of my final college lacrosse season, so leaving Boston was an impossibility, but the University of Denver (DU) was generous and allowed me to interview over the phone. Excited by the opportunity but nervous and anxious to make a good impression, I did my research and felt prepared for the interview. It wasn’t lost on me that my future was in my interviewer’s hands.
A few minutes into my phone call with the Dean of the entire program, when I thought it was going well, he, out of nowhere, asked me why I chose not to write the supplemental essay on the application, to which I responded, “I did not even know it existed” (I figured my chances of acceptance had just plummeted, “this is going great!” ). Without hesitation, he then said, “No problem, here is the prompt, can you tell me what you would have written?”
After picking my jaw off of the ground, I gathered myself, quickly thought about my answer, and went for it (bullet dodged). Minutes go by before he let me know that I also accidentally sent a rough draft of my main essay, and the cherry on top—one of my professors sent the letter of recommendation addressed to a different university. I had hit the trifecta! Surely this was a bad joke.
At this point, you may be asking, I know this guy earned a doctorate in clinical psychology; how did he do that without earning an acceptance? Well, after I was miraculously admitted to DU, I was wondering the same thing, so when I arrived on campus, I asked the Dean why he let me in and his answer was simple, “Yes, I would have preferred you wrote the essay and had a cleaner application, but in the end, you were able to adapt, think on your feet, keep your composure and respond accordingly, which is exactly what I am looking for in a psychologist.”
So, my mistake-laden application created another opportunity--display my ability to adapt, improvise, and maintain composure. This experience, and what I learned from it, have had a profound impact 0on how I think about my work. Sessions, team meetings, conversations with coaches don’t have to be perfect. I simply need to be flexible, agile, and resilient.
Life often does not go as planned. Mistakes are made, failures occur, and disappointments happen. The key is to acknowledge and accept what has happened, try to not over-identify with what occurred, feel your feelings, attempt to learn from them, and respond with intention. While there are times when you cannot control what occurs, you certainly can control how you respond and the meaning you make of the situation. Our greatest triumphs rarely occur without setbacks.